Posted on July 17, 2012


Shortly after the genesis of this blog life caught up with me.  The high, almost fanciful, expectations I set for myself were simply put on the back burner as work, relationships, both new and then eventually failed, collided with great friends, concerts and the city that I am so in love with, Austin, Tx.  Over the past few days I began mulling over the possibility of abandoning this blog, letting it become another causality brought on by good intentions and not-giving-a-shit.  That idea was all but snuffed out.  

What was the purpose of this blog?  To find me?  Vent? Let someone in?  The answer: all of them.  I was just going about it the wrong way.  The easiest way to find me is to start with me.  A lot of people know different versions of me.  To some I am a bully.  A great friend.  A mean and sarcastic know-it-all.  A hypocrite.  I have worn all those hats to include many more.  I have grown, of course, but when it comes down to it all everyone has a different opinion of me.  How many people have you encountered on your bad day of all bad days to never run into again?  They saw you at your worst and have been given no other reason to think anything different.  

So, I think I need to let people get to know the real me: the awesome guy who tends to be a little more sharp with the tongue than most are comfortable with.  How many people in my life can tell me who my favorite author is?  Or what the snake tattoo on my arm symbolizes? Or how many of you tell me how many times I miss my grandmother each day?  

I now realize that when growing up I kept people at a distance.  I see all that now and how it manifests in my romantic relationships.  Little known fact: my longest relationship has been only 1.5 months.  

(Oh yeah, while I will never be crudely vulgar I will not censor myself in my writings.  I am writing for me, not you. I tend to curse a lot.  My family does not really see this side me because, ya know, it is family.  F-Bombs will be dropped.  Some folks will be made fun of.  Jokes will be told.  I will be me.  So, if you are not a fan of the word ‘fuck’, you may not want to proceed.  And when you get to the other side of that bridge I hope you look around because that bitch will be burning.  I do not need someone in my life who can not control his/her emotions and announces how offended they are.  By making that announcement it just shows me that you can not control your emotions so you have to rely on others to do it for you.)

Honestly though, I think most of ya’ll will get bored.  I have found that writing is very therapeutic for me.  it helps me cope.  When I was a child I would leave letters for my mother on her mirror or some other place that I knew she would look the next morning.  It felt then, as it does now, that the written word was the only way to get my real feelings out.  And one last caveat: I can not promise there will be any cohesiveness to my posts.  


Stay tuned.

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